It's summer in San Diego. I have no air conditioning and my apartment is hotter than a pair of sweaty balls. I would open my door (yay screen door) and windows, but secretly my annoying neighbors make me want to die. At first I thought it was going to end with them blasting R. Kelly's "Trapped In the Closet Volumes I until INFINITY" for a few hours, but then they KEPT ON DOING IT. FOR THREE DAYS STRAIGHT. Then they started yelling and making weird noises, which is only OK when I do it. So yeah.
So I go the 711 across the street to get some vitamin water and ice cream (both proven remedies for equatorial heat and annoying neighbors) and I see this woman pulling her small child out of the 711 in a stroller. This child is about 2-3 years old and is clearly upset because it keeps on crying/yelling. It sounds a little like "bllaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrghhhhwaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhachhhkeleeeeyyyyyyyyyyy". You know. Like that.
So naturally his mom tries to placate the child and is like "APPLES!!! Honey...do you want APPLES!?! I have APPLES!!!!" To which the child responds with "waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhbbaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawhhoooooooooo", which I'm guessing is baby talk for "Hell no, bitch."
Probably the child wants APPLES! Worst mom ever. The child clearly wants the opposite of apples. Give the child some sugar, new diapers, a loving touch, crack...I DON'T CARE. Children don't want healthy shit, ok. They don't secretly crave kashi and soy milk or pilates with a shot of wheat grass. Who knows though? Maybe that baby did want some apples and then after he ate his deliciously healthy snack he would practice kabbalah and grow dirty white people dreadlocks.
I clearly can't get over it.
In other news: John McCain is still old and Barack Obama is still Black. Surprise!
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