Nobody Kicks It Like I Kicks it

There are very few mainstream rap artists I enjoy, since the majority of the game is trite and tired as hell. Frankly I'm tired of being told to shake my ass. Nay, commanded to shake my ass.  I'll shake my ass whenever I darn well please, thank you very much. 

The few rappers that I can tolerate include Ludacris (love him), Kanye West (although Lord knows I have my issues with him), Lupe Fiasco, Big Boi and Andre 3000, and last but certainly not least Weezy F. Baby aka Lil Wayne/The Carter. 

There was a ridiculous amount of hype around The Carter III and so I waited a while to get it because hype sucks ass and it usually is exactly just that...hype. In this case The Carter III really is that good.  The best thing about The Carter III is that it doesn't make an effort to be different, or "conscious" or anything other than what we expect from Lil Wayne.  It provides lush production, insanely creative/ridiculous lyrics, in a package that is if nothing, entertaining. 

Lil Wayne is my favorite because he makes me laugh. A lot. Like pretty much in every verse he spits. I've put together a little collection of my favorite lines. 

"Abra cadabra I'm up like Viagra"- 3peat

Magical.

"I'm a Young Money Millionaire/Tougher than Nigerian hair/My criteria compared to your career just isn't fair/I'm a venereal disease/Like a menstrual bleed/Through the pencil it leak/On the sheet of the tablet in my mind"- A Milli

The fact that he combined Nigerian hair, venereal disease, and menstruation into one thought is hilarious.

"I wear bright red like a girl toe/No homo"- Let the Beat Build

I mean really? I do appreciate the "no homo" clarification though. 

"Swagger tighter than a yeast infection/Fly go hard like geese erection/Fashion patrol police detection/I stay tight like Chinese connection" - Dr. Carter

I don't really get it, but it's still really funny.  Probably like a geese erection!! What does that EVEN MEAN?!?

"We are not the same I am a martian/And I'm hotter than summer rain like Carl Thomas/Lock load ready to aim at any target/I can get your brains for a bargain/Like I bought it from Target/Hip Hop is my supermarket/Shoppin cart full of fake hip hop artists" - Phone Home

Not funny, but definitely clever. 

"Osh Kosh B'gosh/Posh Spice Husband/Couldn't kick it likes I kicks it/Cause BITCH I KICKS IT!"- Playing With Fire

He's so adamant about kicking it better than David Beckham. It's great. 

OK, that's it. But really, listen to The Carter III.  You'll be saying the Baby before you know it.