Waiting to Exhale. Not.

Waiting to Exhale is the most depressing movie ever made. 

EVER.

For black women it serves as a constant reminder of the distinct possibility that we will all end up loveless and alone.  The film convinces us that we'll inevitably end up in one of the 4 situations portrayed; each one more depressing than the next. I'll quote directly from Wikipedia on its premise:

"Savannah Jackson (Whitney Houston) is a television producer who holds on to the belief that one day her married lover (Dennis Haysbert) will leave his wife for her.  Bernadine Harris (Angela Bassett) abandoned her own career and desires of having a catering business to raise a family.  Her husband (Michael Beach) is now leaving her for a white woman.  Robin Stokes (Lela Rochon) is the long time mistress of Russell (Leon).  After dumping him she has problems finding a decent man of her own.  Gloria Matthews (Loretta Devine) is a beauty salon owner and single mother raising a teenage son.  After years alone, she falls in love with a new neighbor, Marvin King (Gregory Hines). "

It's message? No one will ever love you. You will search for love in all the wrong places.  You will settle for a fat dude. Your ex-husband will be gay (a point Wikipedia left out in Loretta Devine's storyline).  Your husband will leave you for his white secretary. And the only person who will love you is a really old Gregory Hines (R.I.P). 

And don't get me wrong.  I love me some Gregory Hines. LOVE me some Gregory Hines. From Tap to White Nights and even to this role.  But even his sweet, sad eyes couldn't erase the ridiculous misery that saturates the entire film.

It's Forest Whitaker's directorial debut and as a movie it's not bad. But dude, there is no ray of light or inkling of hope ANYWHERE in that movie. The two that they try to provide are cop-outs and I'm going to call their asses out. 

The friendship among the four ladies is supposed to be a consolation prize for all the other disappointments.  I love my friends a LOT, but FUCK that. Is it the same? Lies. I find the suggestion insulting. 

And then there's the ending. To be honest I forgot exactly how it ends, but I'm pretty sure Whitney exhales or maybe they all exhale because they realize they're all friends and they love each other and even though the rest of their lives are in shambles they'll all be OK. 

Shenanigans. Worst ending ever. 

I'll let Whitney Houston hold her breath, but I'm not waiting for anything. Not even for crack cocaine, because you know that's what she's waiting for.